Meus Caros,
Esta é sem dúvida o expoente máximo que eu jamais poderia imaginar no anedotário sobre GESTÃO EMPRESARIAL em época de crise. De facto - não fui eu que inventei - acabei de recebê-la dos Estados Unidos e, reenvio tal como está para que com a tradução não se perca nem o mínimo do espírito humorístico do "trocadilho" bem ao gosto anglo-saxónico. Isto quase que me faz lembrar a política deste Governo para com os Funcionários Públicos ;)
É de rir até às lágrimas!
jxisto
Dear Employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management
deems appropriate.
Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Consequently persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the
attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Management
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